In the eye of the storm...

We woke up to to the sounds of thunder and lightning and howling winds and now the whole state is under a tornado watch. The weather seems fitting, as it's been another very tough day for our family- and we feel numb.

Before going to bed we stood in the kitchen wrestling back and forth with what we know about God and faith. If Jesus was in the room right then, he might have called us "you of little faith". And we probably would have said "Lord, we believe- but help our unbelief!"

Anyway, I don't really care to go through all the details but I thought I would pass along a couple of random passages, quotes and song lyrics that I've been pondering over the last two days...

I started the morning by reading the following passage called "He Refines Them" from L.B. Cowman's excellent "Streams in the Desert":

...they had asked to be meek, and He had broken their hearts;
they had asked to be dead to the world, and He slew all their living hopes;
they had asked to be made like unto Him, and He placed them in the furnace, sitting by "as a refiner and purifier of silver," until they should reflect His image;

Such, are they in all ages, "who follow the Lamb wherever he
goes." Had they chosen for themselves, or their friends chosen for them,
they would have chosen otherwise. They would have been brighter here, but less
glorious in His Kingdom. They would have had Lot's portion, not Abraham's...

Many a time their foot had well nigh slipped; but He in mercy held them
up. Now, even in this life, they know that all He did was done well. It was good
to suffer here, that they might reign hereafter; to bear the cross below, for
they shall wear the crown above; and that not their will but His was done on
them and in them.

We've wrestled with the correlation of obedience to God's calling and patience in waiting for God to give the desires of our heart (Psalm 37). In the two years since we signed up to be missionaries, it feels like we've had our hearts broken more than in the entire 26 years prior. We keep asking for God's heart for the lost, God's perspective in trials, God's power to live the life He has called us to. I guess this Piper quote gives a good word picture of it:

"The missionary's heart...
Cares more than some think is wise.
Risks more than some think is safe.
Dreams more than some think is practical.
Expects more than some think is possible.
...and is called not to "being right" or to his or her own comfort or to his or her own success or to his or her own winning, or even to "winning others over," but to full, totally surrendered obedience." ~John Piper

Lastly, here's the song that has been running through my head, reminding me of hope...

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me